Julien Baker - Even lyrics

[Verse 1] When is it too many times To tell you that I think of you every night I don’t want to make it hard on you So I could be cruel Yeah I could make you hate me Would that make it easy Did you think I forgot The fireworks, the black eye Trading blows on the fourth of July But you were right, I was asking for it I always am It’s no good if the pain doesn’t make you feel like you earned it And I probably deserved it [Chorus] ‘Cause all you ever say is “What’s the point; is anybody there to help me now” It’s not that I think I’m good I know that I’m evil I guess I was trying to even it out [Verse 2] Isn’t that what you want For me to be miserable like you Well brother, you’re about to get your wish Putting my fist through the plaster in the bathroom of a motel 6 I must have pictured it all a thousand times I swear to God I think I’m gonna die I know you were right I can’t be fixed, so help me [Chorus] ‘Cause all you ever say is “What’s the point; is anybody there to help me now” It’s not that I think I’m good I know that I’m evil I guess I was trying to even it out