Julien Baker - Appointments lyrics

[Verse 1] I'm staying in tonight I won't stop you from leaving I know that I'm not what you wanted Am I? Wanted someone who I used to be like Now you think I'm not trying I don't argue, it's not worth the effort to lie You don't want to bring it up And I already know how it looks You don't have to remind me so much How I disappoint you Suggest that I talk to somebody again That knows how to help me get better And till then I should just try not to miss any more Appointments [Verse 2] I think if I ruin this That I know I can live with it Nothing turns out like I pictured it Maybe the emptiness is just a lesson in canvases I think if I fail again That I know you're still listening Maybe it's all gonna turn out alright And I know that it's not, but I have to believe that it is [Bridge] I have to believe that it is I have to believe that it is (I have to believe it, I have to believe it) I have to believe that it is (Probably not, but I have to believe that it is) [Chorus] And when I tell you that it is Oh, it's not for my benefit Maybe it's all gonna turn out alright Oh, I know that it's not, but I have to believe that it is