Joell Ortiz - Dear God 125 lyrics

Joel Ortiz - Dear God 125 Dear lord why do I feel how I feel I could move a thousand bundles of crilles I could hit the lottery for a mill Money no longer make me smile, it's wild Chest hurt like burying your first child I'm really losing my drive to do this music If it don't happen after this I'm through with it 25 still in my mums crib, two kids Ever heard that saying you so smart you stupid Thats me, 14 and changing my SAT's Chose the projects over college, what a f** up On the block hollering at b**hs, like f** you You stuck up, what can shorty see in a jerk And then when she leave, and then when she get back from work, what am I worth? Dennis said my pen can get me out the P's But he been away for 5 so he don't see what I see Mum like turn that down I can't hear my T.v Worrying about them beats, I didn't raise no dead beat Better find an application boy, get up on your feet For Micky D's, was 30 my rhyme book was me I inked my heart and soul in them sheets Holler at me yo, I'm so unhappy yo Don't want to be the dude in the Barber shop that could of made it In the cypher with young boys spitting sh** that's outdated And them n******gs walking away like homie was overrated Life ain't a b**h, Life is Life and I hate it Never tried suicide, I ain't got the heart to pull it Know your brain feel pain when it's stained by that bullet I don't want to live, yet I don't want to die And have god go you was about to do it Joel, Why? Daddy do you even still care your boy is still alive? Ain't seen you since 83', Hello to you too Guess I was unimportant and you had to do you Sad that I had to guess that just added to my stress Mum did her best, nah f** that, I don't get it How could you just go and forget that I existed? Guess I'm not like you, Cos I ain't a punk I don't run away from problems, I solve them and man up Mum said I got a step brother called Jamel An older sister as well, forget her name Why did we never meet? I was the only child who wasn't an only child Who felt lonely, wow how can I tell my son about a grandpa I don't know I'm done with you yo, next topic I miss you Jigs I seen your daughters last month they getting big I know you surprised in heaven that Evet had a Kid I wish we could sip one more bluey together in that RX7 n***as smelt like gas, Still we hoped in the pool sharked of at her a** PA ain't the same without you, whenever me and PO get bent thats my word We think about you, Rolling up your sleeve Thats when we knew you was drunk Remember that time your armpit had that yellowish stuff, what the f** was that? Be proud of me, I'm coming up in rap Just waiting on my dough, you know the Biz What up with miz, Tell that n***a I said what up Javone getting better at Bball, his tall a** trying to dunk Through this gift right here I promise to stay in touch, one When will this bus come, been waiting on this ride for years All my shirts are stiff from the driest tears What the f** Im nice the world need to know The comments on Hip-Hop game say honestly he should blow All these meetings is lame, everyone is the same I pop in my demo and everyone goes insane Walk out the building head higher than c**aine Only for me to never ever hear from them again Thats why I contemplate putting my pen away But I don't cause motherf**ers did the same sh** to Jay Coincidence? nah I don't believe in those sh** happen for a reason, if this was meant, id know What do I got to do Lord? My songs is tight My shows is jam packed, Im Hip-Hops anthrax Nobody can touch me but I'm still in the hood How could you leave me around danger when your boy this good? Patience is a virtue but enough is enough By the time I get on I'll be too tiered to celebrate Yeh I know I'm lying, i'll wake up when I get that cake First thing I'll cop is a plane ticket escape I don't care where just far away from here Turn my phone off, unfold my beach chair Just stare, like hell yeh light told you we would twinkle our toes in the sand thats white Last one to the ocean is weak, and swim in the water thats clear enough to stand up and see your feet But thats only an if, if if was a CEO Wed all have a deal, Wed all sell a mill I'm talking the underdogs who feel how I feel If you can't feel can't feel how I feel, but you know what I mean Right now I know I can only write about the things I've seen Sounds sad, but I could fit that In a 16 The furtherest I've been is L.A for a couple of days Can't front the plane is smoother than the front of the train But anyway everything ain't ok, Im trying to live for today But tomorrow……..