Joe Budden - Poker In The Sky lyrics

[Verse:] Just trying to explain the unexplainable More than trying to attain the unattainable Trying to make it sustainable Collecting all the parts, see if they interchangeable k**ing me slow, but I'm glad it's entertaining you Everyday it amaze me The same thinking that pay me the same thinking that plagues me How can I think I'm crazy? Sway me Cause to profit off of s**t that aches me is actually pretty wavy I'm painting the perfect picture Only perfect cause the imperfections are highlighted To gross currency off of that kinda sickness Changes the meaning of mind my business Giving what was given to me So the soldiers come over unsober And call me Yoda instead of Joseph I be like "why they come to me for advice?" They should really come to me for a vice I got 'em all Got a counter full of liquor, pocket full of pills The illusion of control, I can tell you how it feels Accounts full of paper and the women I play with All got criminal bodies, innocent faces Come around and we have a ball, could have it all Well, I ran out of Adderall, but that's a matter of a call, check it Odds is they start telling me they hardships Regardless, they end up wanting hard d**k, aww s**t You would think they been ordained Got her legs in the air, she screaming the Lord's name I'm feeding her more game, more game, more game I started f*****g her mind, that's when all them thoughts came She keep saying if I want her I should fight for her My plight for her says I don't know if I'm right for her Even so know there's a fire I ignite for her Staring at her ceiling, seeing me like I'm a nightcrawler It's like she love me, but she don't That's when she lose me, that's when she confuse me It's what I get appalled with, can't call it She think I should remove her hurt since I installed it But I wish she knew I was returned 2 birds Feel it hurt me more knowing I hurt you Even though it exists I don't ever bring it up We don't be doing nothing, but it's everything to us Presently she bring up the past and it's filthy You not talking to who I was or who I will be But that's my own a**ignment You want to take all the feelings and the time spent And give it realignment Check the catalog, lateral God I self-sabotage, I'd explain further, but I'd rather not Salute, on me, everybody have a shot I do it for the n****s they said wouldn't have a shot But some days are better than some days Still yet here I stand on numb legs Women don't give a f**k that I have these scars I'm f*****g the same hoes that the athletes are What a rollercoaster, we argued and we s**ed Face in her box, James Harden in her texts N***a from the Clippers every morning text her "good morning" She be sleep, he just be talking to me, my n***a None of this is a pain to see I only care about her if she pertains to me S**t I'm tending to emergencies with urgency That urge in me is my daily fight in her purging me F**k hoes, I ain't got time to be sprung now Grandpa's cancer just made it to his lungs now In 2012, docs gave him few months; wild He's alive somehow, outlived 2 sons, wow So no the observation Says he'll die quicker with chemo and radiation He ain't strong enough to even go through operation Know that d**h's coming, he just in the house waiting So you telling me there ain't a way to fix the s**t? Or is grandpa too old for you to give a s**t? Let's switch the s**t, give you my predicament Wonder how you would feel if I was telling yours live with it And it's traveling to his heart soon Of course it all hit me like a harpoon I was in shock and then it was all clearer When he called me and asked me to be his pallbearer I was floored But then the next second was back To being self-centered, self-absorbed And it became about me, fought it off long enough I could help carry your weight, but I ain't strong enough But why do I have to be? This the s**t I be naturally asking me, I'm such a catastrophe See me breaking down with my father in back of me So for me to attend, I'm trying to think of a strategy But I'm happy for my dad He was incarcerated, but his mama didn't make it So for him to get that chance again with you Means the world, he could be there til it end for you and me I bleed out through this pen for you Can't carry this around, gotta vent, it's due Cause now, grandpa'll be closer to his wife Have cards when I come, we playing poker in the sky