Joe Budden - Redemption lyrics

[Verse 1: Kutt Calhoun] They say that sleep is the cousin of d**h So I don't sleep cause once I doze I keep losing my breath Feel Incapacitated, Froze, And I can't call out for help Is that a sign a saying I'm not a in full control of myself I often think about the peeps around me I'm feeling weak, If it's not peace well then lord please allow me To be at ease with my enemies No longer church is in my want, and if I'm worth only ten-hundred then I'm still a G Life is the fast lane, and your friends are the obstacles in the road If you've got to book to the shoulder it's obviously a hold-up (wait) Just let me take into consideration those Who do not see what this road has to offer them when its showed Maybe I'm crazy or just maybe I'm dead smack right Promote me or pay me for partaking in red, black, white Cause if you don't then it's a deeper scripture I've got the brush, it ain't a rush for you to see the picture It's black and white n***a [Chorus] This life we livings an illusion, Wish I could fly and find a new one If i could change this whole invention, My intentions are redemption How can they reach us, being facetious, no signs of Jesus If I could tweak this whole invention, my intentions, are redemption [Verse 2: Joe Budden] Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck Sometimes I feel like times up Sometimes I look at the clock as the hand that stop See I would like to rewind but Times my only witness right now If I don't think I'm wrong, Why the f**, should I ask for forgiveness right now? Let me send a message to all these b**hes that all in my business right now Before you approach me, I'm paranoid, gripping on my biscuit right now I'm only afraid to warn you my reality is far from normal But I try my best to keep it at rest and show you a proper formal See, without this music I'd be a cell mate in that frail state Everything around me is a jailbait Loose control of my cruise control, foot on the pedal accelerate Kinda schizo, locomotive without a motive They just focused on my Depression, my obsessive compulsion, my profession No longer backtracking on my progressions Hate it or love it, choose the former and choke on a Smith & Wesson This song is for mental I refer that all that I've been through, to say its more than just mental Ever thought detrimental Joey [Chorus] [Verse 3: Kutt Calhoun] Feels like it was never meant from the start It's such a struggle wit tryin to juggle on who has my best interest at heart And now I'm falling, got nothing to grab (Who's gonna laugh? n***as gonna let me? What they really thinking? Do they really care?) f** feeling bad If it's my time then it's my time, and I'm gonna stand up like a man with my head held high Ready to take whatever comes with the plan, cause I won't be alone That's on the eyes of Virgin Mary, man I'll die before I live beneath this buried pain Father forgive me, its hard to separate the evil from friendlies The jealous ones in me, I don't know who the hell is the enemy As a partner, friend, or a**ociate; angel, demon, or both When its right up under your nose And their poker faces are frozen with smiles And I haven't met a decent being in a while (That I could trust) I'd rather just beam them and bleed em on out If you ain't with me, you against me, so I need to know now Or you can witness my redemption when I leave and roll out (I'm sayin)