When im alone in my room, sometimes i stare at the wall With the phone off, near withdrawal Gotta paranoia problem so im known to keep a trigga around yall BIG told me they b prayin for a n***a downfall Im vacationin on a beach with no sand Tryin to check the time on a clock with no hands Feels like im gettin close, but im no where near it I touch it but dont feel, listen but dont hear it Starin out a project window, wen the man stresses Me and mental got two different addresses Ones national, trumph international Rational, one is still stuck on the avenue If you dont understand fine, my bodys playin hine with the mind tryin to escape but layin mines, revamp designed the search but can't find, the times when the future was a tanline Damn sh** was much brighter then Now its just vitamins mixed in with vicodins If they gunna set yu up to lose why try to win Cause a scar dont stop nothin on a viking skin So n***as can come after me Even intelligent hoodlums become tradgies I move in silence, the jadakiss of jerz And when in comes to benjamins, i dont say a word ya heard A shine of chrome on the cufflink Step out tear down the party and the club scene but i think its obscene The lifestyles of the rich and shameless I pick anonymity over being famous From the start, even if they dont see it i play a part Rather then sell a record, rather do it from the heart I rather put me before yall, i know n***as might call it self centered, i call that being smart So i stand behind mics, not even worried about the lime light That effects when the times right If i was kayne i wouldn't have these problems But then id have kaynes problems Blessed with everything that ever fronted on the planet But lose the only thing i ever wanted on the planet Back on the canvas, just lost my man with granite, im always counted, grant it Ive been where yu tryin to go, the car said it Bigimy is not strong minded its hard headed Thought i was on the right route tackling the game Till they handcuffed my mouth, put shackles on my brain Powerless stranger, gone but still here Kitty cat my career, put it in a wheelchair Keep the deal fair, nothing but real here Amazed after all these years i still care ii swear