Jimmy Fallon - Chris rock was my r.a. - album version--stand up lyrics

Well, my freshman year had an awesome R.A I had the best R.A. in the world I wish you was with me all my 4 years His name is Arnold Baldwin, we had this R.A. Arnold Baldwin He's this big tall skinny black guy and he talked exactly like Chris Rock We loved him because he didn't give a crap about us, he didn't care He's like "I'm your R.A.! Resident Assistant. Resident Assistant! I'm not the resident councilor, I'm not the resident mother I don't need to know everything "Your friends throwing up in the bathroom, I don't need to know Everybody throws up, he's lucky he made it to the bathroom Just give him a Tic Tac and a pillow and leave him alone Leave him alone! "I don't need to know, your suite mate is smokin' crack I dont need to know Just tell him to exhale through a empty toilet paper roll Stuffed with dryer sheets Make it smell like the mountain spring freshness of crack I don't need to know "I don't need to know if you gotta 40 ounce beer ball keg Playing beer pong, flip cup, century club got some zoomy zoomy going on I don't need to know 'cause I don't care Your girlfriend broke up with you, I don't care Your roommate is a pain on the a**, I don't care You made a booty call 4 in the morning and she got a friend I care, remember me!"