[Intro] I'd like to thank everybody for coming out tonight I'd like to share with you, my celebrity scenarios I promise I won't tell baby girl I can hold water, I promise [Verse 1: Kendrick Lamar] I got this girl named Meagan Good Well, you could say that Meagan was bad The way she talk dirty he done threw me the a** Like a quarterback Mr. McNabb She introduce me to her friend Teairra Mari Well, see Mari put a n***a to sleep She made her boy feel good even curled my feet Now please don't go back to Jay-Z It's a rap, I used to f** with Christina a while back Which one, Aguilera or Milian, both of em They did this little trick with their tongue I came faster than a NASCAR spinning backwards Brandi like to s** it she said she needed some practice In the back of my bucket wasn't using no mattress Brooke Valentine like to take it from behind Face down, a** up, sh** I love it when she climb [Hook] Now we can all be celebrity cousins And if I f** I swear I won't say nothin' Now we can all be celebrity cousins And if I f** I swear I won't say nothin' else I promise, I won't tell nobody else I promise, I swear I won't say nothin' else I promise, just take off your clothes, nobody'll know Psych [Verse 2: Kendrick Lamar] And about Vivica I had her way before 50 Cent start dissing her One thing I know, sh** I hope he wasn't kissing her Man she could blow like a torch And dick without using a fork She introduced me to Gabrielle of course Union, had her on my backyard porch Legs up film rolling, action, cut She looking at me like "what happened, get up" [?] f**ed up so Holly came sh** I felt that I lucked up Gave her my last name, Trina moved on She f**ing with Lil Wayne now It's OK, I ain't crying about my hand-me-downs I'ma sit back, take it for what it's worth But for now I'm free, "can you please lift up your skirt?" We can do lunch, later on be dessert I'll give you a job, since 106 didn't work Out [Hook] [Verse 3: Kendrick Lamar] Ciara gave a n***a the goodies love tonight And Bow Wow wants to see my cars out the house [?] n***a maybe wanted to fight He seen the burner on the draw and walked right out Will Smith knows exactly what I'm talkin' bout I had the same altercations when dealing with Jada Baby momma drama I start f**ing Fantasia Nothing serious, she thought of it as a favour And Lindsay Lohan, made my sh** stand up Like a Voltron, I couldn't keep my pants up The p**ycat Dolls want the fantasy of all Like, I'ma need some help trying to f** all of y'all Hour later, that's when Amerie called Saying "this just one thing" OK ma, "you don't have to fiend for the ding-a-ling" I'll be over there, make sure Eve over there I wanna see y'all mingling together [Bridge] Remember that time at my house Remember that time at your house Remember that time on the bed Remember that time on the couch Remember that time on the chair Remember when Nelly was downstairs We all had a good time Didn't we all have fun As celebrities can we? [Hook]