Skit: He wears a snake skin underwear, which women refer to as "The Python Pouch." He once slayed a vampire with a chorus Chuck Norris has a book of facts on him He is the only man qualified for "The Awesome Award." He once outran a cheetah He can stop a bullet in midair, just by looking at it. He once k**ed himself, for creeping up on himself When he goes out in public, he wears a cape At age 5, he put his mom on time out, for not buying him fruit roll-ups, ahh, delicious fruit roll-ups! Nectar of the gods! It's a paper thin, delicious, fruity experience So what I say, "Mom, stop being a b**h! And let your kid endulge in his fruit roll-ups!" He is, the most interesting man in Decatur!