James Gang - Hairy Hypochondriac lyrics

Somebody find me a wheelchair I'm feeling kind of faint today I got beriberi and a whooping cough I think I'm gonna fade away I got a case of yellow fever I get it every other week My gums swell up with the scurvy It gets so hard to speak I got a bad case of sneeze I got wobbly knees Just call me Hairy Hypochondriac Hurry up and call the doctor I think I got the mumps again Bring me morphine, mama, and some codeine, papa Read the last rites, my friend Now I think I'm seeing double My heart don't seem to beat Checking for scarlet fever Being sick sure ain't neat I got a bad case of sneeze I got wobbly knees Just call me Hairy Hypochondriac Medicare, Allsup, and Blue Cross Never seem to be enough I got a paid-up suite in a hospital Good gosh of mine, things are rough Ever since I was a baby Mama said "The boy ain't well!" I know that things ain't one bit better 'Cause my health's all shot to hell I got a bad case of sneeze I got wobbly knees Just call me Hairy Hypochondriac Hey, doc! I got this pain all over my left leg! Does that mean my arm is gonna fall off? I got a bad case of sneeze I got wobbly knees Just call me Hairy Hypochondriac Hey, doc! It's about these spots in front of my eyes. What is it, malaria? Am I going blind? Help me! I got a bad case of sneeze I got wobbly knees Just call me Hairy Hypochondriac I can't seem to turn my neck around. What does that mean? Have I got a whiplash or something?