Jaldaboath - Roland The Farter lyrics

Though the bogs of St Edmund, beyond the gaseous wastes Lives a hero amongst men, one of expensive tastes He dines solely on beans and rich salted prunes He holds magic powers to which none are immune He's the King's secret weapon and his jester to boot. He has his own castle and vaults full of loot. The French make no plans to invade this fair isle For fear they meet Roland they quake rank and file Roland the Farter, we're depending on you! Roland the Farter: please don't follow through! Brewed in his bowels is a stench none can stand For 10,000 hectares, it k**s beast and man Chemical warrior, flatulist supreme Dark-age Ma**-destruction from the brown jet-stream Aiming his arse as their army draws near He pumps out a strong one that's soft on the ear But sounds are deceiving, they do not see their doom As, one by one, they march into the plume. "Unum saltum et siffletum et unum bumbulum" (one jump, one whistle, and one fart) Roland's the hero, always the one to win So don't be afraid, it's better out than in Don't worry 'bout the farting, be proud of your trumps But don't strain too hard; Avoid pants full of lumps!