Jacksfilms - SCARY STORIES with KERMIT lyrics

Kermit is seen sitting on a stool, holding a book. There are four kids sitting on the ground around him. They're all located in a cla**room decorated for Halloween. KERMIT: Hey! Uh, happy, uh, happy, uh, Halloween! Who's ready for some spooky Halloween stories, huh? KIDS: We are, we are, we are! KERMIT: Alrighty! This first one's called "You're Gonna Die Tonight". Ahem. Tonight, a girl with no eyes and no nose will come out of your closet and, uh, you'll die. The end. Yay! KERMIT: Okay, show of hands: who's going trick or treating tonight? KIDS: I am! KERMIT: Looks like a lot of you. Well, this next story is called "Razors In Your Candy" and it's a poem! KERMIT: There are no razors in your candy, apples, sweets, or granolas. But there is a pretty giant chance they've all been laced with Ebola. KERMIT: I guess I should tell you that this book is completely blank, I-I'm just making this up as I go. Turns the page. Ah, I love this one. KERMIT: This next story is called "There Is No Santa Claus"— JASON: You're the worst, Kermit! KERMIT: No, you're the worst, Billy! JASON: That's not even my name! KERMIT: Everyone, just relax, alright? It's Halloween. I clocked out, like, three martinis ago, okay, I'm barely conscious. KERMIT: How about I tell you a story called "Spooky Scary Skeletons"? Shut up, shut-shut up. KERMIT: We will all become spooky scary skeletons in the end. It is inevitable. And all we do beforehand matters not. KERMIT: Well, this party died! How about a little, uh, Halloween song to, uh, get you all in the mood? Yeah, you all know this one. KERMIT: Ghosts aren't real, but my lust for blood is! KERMIT: I hope you all have a fun, safe, Halloween tonight. Except you, Billy. Except you.