Jacksepticeye - Cool Patrol lyrics

[Intro] [Danny] Yo Ninja Brian, you see that high schooler over there getting pushed around? This looks like a job for the Cool Patrol! [Verse 1] Hey Kid! (Yo!) You're getting picked on in school The other boys! (Huh!)! They say you just ain't cool Well that's bullsh**! (Yeah!!) We're gonna teach you the rules Those motherf**ers ain't gonna bother you no more We are the bad boys (Oh!) from the tough side of town We are the Cool Patrol (Woo!) we'll turn your life around Those bullies (AW sh*t) their a** is done for now We're gonna show you how! So f**in' listen y'all! First… [Chorus 1] You put your hands in the air And you jump off the ground And then you take that funky bu*t and you shake it all around And lightly jog in place and then crank it up to a prance This is the cool patrol dance Now put your hands in your pockets And take them right back out Then spin around in a circle and make an animal sound (moo) Then glide into the sprinkler like you're gonna water the plants This is the cool patrol dance Whee! [Interlude 1] [Danny] You get all that kid? [The Kid] (Jacksepticeye) That wasn't actually very helpful... That was like an instructional dance... [Danny] Hell yeah...! [Verse 2] Motherf**in' bullies better watch their a** You're sending all them sh**s a message there's a new king in cla** When they see you they're gonna freak out and piss their pants THEY ARE YOUR b*tchES! THEY ARE YOUR b*tchES BECAUSE... [Chores 2] You put your hands in the air And then stick out your rear end And then you wiggle it real hard and you hug your closest friend And then you wildly remove your clothes and tearaway pants This is the cool patrol dance Now rub the peanut bu*ter on you From your head to your feet And cover up your nudity with different cheeses and meats Then slap a camel because this could be your only chance This is the cool patrol dance [Interlude 2] Cool Break! Alright... This is cool... *coughs* 'scuse me... Hey I have an idea! Let's kick it! *Synth Solo* [Chorus 3] You put your hands in the air And grab a bird from the sky And eat it whole so that you may absorb its power of flight Now you can also dive bomb fish because your vision's enhanced This is the cool patrol dance You're basically a superhero now So throw some cars Then rub your magnum thighs together and set fire to Mars Now harness all your s**y fury in a victory stance This is the cool patrol dance! Your training is complete, now go show those f**ers who's boss! [The Kid] Okay! Hey guys, listen up... You put your hands in the a- *punch* [Danny] OH GOD!!! Aw he might... he might actually be dead....