Jack Splash - The Birds and the Bees lyrics

[Intro :Andy Milonakis] Oh my God, that's him, that's him, that's Dirt Nasty Oh my Gosh, go ask him No you ask him, no you! But I'm scared Okay, hey Dirt Nasty I-I asked my mom, where babies come from, and she says a stork bring them down from heaven, is that true? [Verse 1: Dirt Nasty] Well let me break it down for you kid Ain't no stork done dropped off sh** (what?) Ain't no Santa, no Easter Bunny, no tooth fairy and b**hes want money See your mom gave dad some head, he shoulda pulled out and nutted on the bed Instead, nine months later, you plopped out your moms fat a** during labor (hehe) But mommy was a player, you might be your dads but you prolly your neighbor's Came out all sloppy and sh**, crying like a b**h, s**in' her tits See that's what God intended, but Lord have mercy the twat's infected (what's a twat?) As the doc cut the umbilical he saw your co*k and said f** you're pitiful Now here you are seven years later and your dick ain't grown a f**ing centimeter (that's true) How can I teach you profilactic, just stick the plan with your tiny little fat dick [Hook] Let me teach you the birds and the bees, it's kindda easy like A B C If you feel like it burns when you pee, put a rubber on your dick for the STD (that's right) Let me teach you the birds and the bees (stupid), public service from Dirt Nasty (dumb sh**) See that little red dot on your meat? Put a rubber on your dick then act like me Doggy style, that's the sh**, girl on top, squeeze her tit, missionary, nah thats lame, choke a b**h, what's my name? (Dirt Nasty) [Andy Milonakis] Hey my brother showed me a weird slimy balloon that he says protects him from diseases, what's a diseases? [Verse 2: Dirt Nasty] Alright here we go (ladies and gentlemen) Alright kid, hold this beer, let me make this crystal-f**ing-clear I don't know if they make baby trojans, but if they do pull it down to the scrotum Ever seen dad, scratch real bad, it ain't poison-oak, they call it the crabs Ever seen sis, hiss when she piss, clenching the fist, that's syphilis And when mommy make doc appointments, it ain't the flu, she need vajayjay-ointments And don't go sharing slurpies, 'cuz little Karen is carrying herpes Dick hurt? Burn when you pee? Then put a Jimmy on your little wee-wee Better wrap that rascal, especially if you put it in a chick a**hole Don't trust no ho, and if the pinky's stinky, run for the backdoor When the cooch is loose, that means she's a s*ut, you silly goose p**y tight? Hit it like a champ, oh yeah, watch out for the tramp-stamp The b**hes disease, so beware the wrath of the wizard sleeve [Hook] [Outro] [Dirt Nasty] Now I hope you kids learned a valuable lesson, now excuse I gotta go to the clinic [Andy Milonakis] Oh, I get it now, babies come out of girls p**y holes (yes), and your should always use condoms (mmh, maybe) Vaginas are stinking dirty filthy germicidal f**holes filled with poss and ooze (you've been listening) Thanks Dirty Nasty, I really learned something today, now that I know about the birds and the bees I'm gonna go get my dick s**ed [Dirt Nasty] Alright you kids get some head