Jack Gilford - Meeskite lyrics

[SCHULTZ, spoken] Now the only word you Have to know in order to understand my little song is the Yiddish word: "Meeskite." "Meeskite" means ugly, funny-looking "Meeskite" means [SCHULTZ] Meeskite, Meeskite Once upon a time there was a meeskite, meeskite Looking in the mirror he would say, "What an awful shock I got a face that could stop a clock." Meeskite, meeskite Such a pity on him, he's a meeskite, meeskite God up in his heaven left him out on a shaky limb He put a meeskite on him But listen, he grew up. Even meeskites grow up And soon in the Chader (that means Hebrew school) He sat beside this little girl And when he asked her name she replied "I'm Pearl." He ran to the Zayda (that means grandfather) And said in that screechy voice of his "You told me I was the homeliest! Well, gramps, you're wrong. Pearl is! "Meeskite, meeskite No one ever saw a bigger meeskite, meeskite Everywhere a flaw and maybe that is the reason why I'm going to love her until I die "Meeskite, meeskite Oh, is it a pleasure she's a meeskite, meeskite She's the one I'll treasure, for I thought there could, never be A bigger meeskite than me." So, they were married And in a year she turned and smiled "I'm afraid I am going to have ... a child." Nine months she carried Worrying how that child would look And all the cousins were worried too But what a turn fate took! Gorgeous, gorgeous They produced a baby that was gorgeous, gorgeous Crowding round the cradle all the relatives aahed and oohed "He ought to pose for a baby food "Gorgeous, gorgeous Would I tell a lie? He's simply gorgeous, gorgeous Who'd have ever thought that we would see such a flawless gem Out of two meeskites like them?" Now, wait! The story has a moral! All my stories have morals! Moral, moral Yes indeed, the story has a moral, moral Though you're not a beauty it is nevertheless quite true There may be beautiful things in you Meeskite, meeskite Listen to the fable of the meeskite, meeskite Anyone responsible for loveliness, large or small Is not a meeskite At all!