[Verse 1] Bell on door clanks, come on in Floyd observes my hairy chin Sit down chair, don't be afraid Steamed hot towel on my face [Chorus] I was shaved I was shaved I was shaved [Verse 2] Barney ties me to the chair I can't see I'm really scared Floyd breathes hard, I hear a zip Pee-pee pressed against my lips [Chorus] I was shamed I was shamed I was shamed [Verse 3] I sense others in the room Opie, Aunt Bee, I presume They take turns and cut me up I die smothered in Andy's bu*t [Chorus] I was shamed I was shamed I was shamed