J diddle - The Process lyrics

It's always hard to think of what to rhyme about Just need something to vent all my emotions out Pen to a pad is my deadly habit It hurts to say but I'm an addict I feel like a prisoner inside my own home The warden to keep me in is a microphone Telling me to come up with something new But I haven't got a clue Of the words I needa spew Lost friends, girls I loved, So what I gotta loose Should I rhyme bout the girl that broke my heart Should I rhyme bout the girl that made my heart drop from the start Cause she f**ing beautiful Treats me fine which isn't usual Actions sweep off her feet, gotta be dutiful Should I be, talking about people in the middle east Dying from disease Have shrapnel k** them in the streets Never too sure of what to talk about, maybe I I've lost it Never too sure if I need to keep the mic or drop it Should I give in and be like everyone else when they rhyme Talk about hoes, gold, and the ice But I wear clothes that hardly look nice This pen and pad feel like a ball and chain This was the art I used to escape my pain Yet I'm right back where I started again Always pushing myself to my best potential Not saying sh** just bars on an instrumental It's cool here and there but not for every song Thinking should I make it short, should I make it long Should I try I sing, or should I go in strong Should I drop the mic and work on the flow Should I stop writing so much and take it slow Should I actually get out and be somebody Should I be like everyone having fun and party But I'm pacing around asking myself these f**ing questions My head is aching and I'm heavy stressin' Write a couple lines, crumple up the paper and trash it Got something in me, but I just can't hack it Haven't noticed gotta lot pain in me and this is how I mask it Trying to write something that will give me chills Let me try and pop a couple Adderall pills I feel everything and my emotions come up Even with this, I'm having trouble to sum up Exactly whats on my mind this time Can't think of exactly what to rhyme f** it just write a couple sh**ty lines Slap em together, pick a random beat Record for hours, f** getting something to eat Keep recording and writing til I fall asleep Listen what I got finished Realize it's wack, control, alt, deleted I'm getting pissed, I'm all off the next day Friend come up to me, like I never seen you this way But I mute it out, just kicking it to different beats Hoping the words will hit me, and I'll feel the beat Maybe I'll find the perfect words while I'm in this f**ing seat Just holding onto a pencil, staring at a blank paper That only has two lines a couple hours later These songs are paintings, the words are colors on my palette Holy sh**, the words are coming to me I think I have it Writing this track not with ink, but with my soul Finish recording the sh** sounds dope Let me show you exactly how it goes!