Indigo Girls - Language Or The Kiss lyrics

I don't know if it was real or in a dream Lately waking up i'm not sure where i've been There was a table set for six and five were there I stood outside and kept my eyes upon that empty chair And there was steam on the windows from the kitchen Laughter like a language i once spoke with ease But i'm made mute by the virtue of decision And i choose most of your life goes on without me Oh the fear i've known That i might reap the praise of strangers And end up on my own All i've sown was a song but maybe i was wrong I said to you the one gift which i'd adore The package of the next 10 years unfolding But you told me if i had my way i'd be bored Right then i knew i loved you best born of your scolding When we last talked we were lying on our backs Looking at the sky through the ceiling I used to lie like that alone out on the driveway Trying to read the greek upon the stars The alphabet of feeling Oh i knew back then It was a calling that said if joy then pain The sound of the voice these years later Is still the same I am alone in a hotel room tonight I squeeze the sky out but there's not a star appears Begin my studies with this paper and this pencil And i'm working through the grammar of my fears Oh mercy what i won't give To have the things that mean the most Not to mean the things i miss Unforgiving the choice still is The language or the kiss