Ian Holm - Burying the Hamster lyrics

INT. SAM'S BEDROOM - CONTINUED SAM So, uh...I gotta go bury this hamster before the dogs eat him. Wanna help? Hmm? EXT. SAM'S BACKYARD [Sam and Andrew walk a little and enter into a small – gated cemetery] ANDREW Wow. SAM Yeah. ANDREW I mean, this is, uh... SAM I know. It's not that we're bad pet owners or anything. It's just, you know, we've had so many of them over the years. Besides, a lot of these are fish. SAM After you. All right. SAM Sit down. What are you thinking about? ANDREW Now? SAM Yeah. ANDREW Right now? SAM Yeah. ANDREW Right now, I was thinking I've been going to a lot of these things lately. SAM What, dates? ANDREW Not dates. Is this a date? This isn't a date. Funerals. SAM Why? Who else died? ANDREW Oh, uh... That's why I'm home actually. I guess I haven't even told you that yet. Um... My mom just died. God, that's weird to say that out loud, but, uh... “My mom just died.” And, uh... Yeah, that's why I'm home. SAM I'm so sorry. God, I'm so sorry. And here I am, like, putting you through another one of these. Not that Jelly's like anywhere near your mom's. I mean, we loved Jelly but... I'm so sorry. ANDREW No, it's okay. It's all right. I'm all right with it. Anyway, I think it's what she wanted, so... SAM How'd she die? ANDREW She drowned actually. Yeah, my, uh... My mother was a paraplegic. She was in a wheelchair so she, uh... You know, and, uh... I guess she was taking a bath... and she must have slipped or something. That's what they say. I don't... I don't know. But... needless to say, she drowned and... that's how she...sh-she died. SAM When? ANDREW This was, uh... Sunday. SAM Oh, my God. ANDREW Why are you crying? SAM I don't know. I'm sorry. Because... I'm not usually like this. It's just like... It's just so sad. You know, it's like... It's so tragic, isn't it? It is. It's like... It's like real life tragedy or something. ANDREW Anyway, let's change the subject, okay? Let's really bring the focus back to Jelly… 'cause what could be ruder than talking about someone else who died... when you're in the act of burying a close friend? SAM Well, what should we do? ANDREW I don't know. I've only been to one of these things. You appear to be the expert. SAM Well, we usually say something. Okay, uh, ANDREW I'll go first. Um... Didn't really know you, Jelly. From what I hear, you were a good pet. Little trouble with the wheel but... SAM That's not funny. Jelly, you were a great pet. I'm sorry I forgot to take the wheel out of your cage. I'm so, so sorry about that. Good-bye. I hope that you liked me. INT. LARGEMAN MANSION: KITCHEN [Andrew is in the fridge searching for something to eat. He closes the fridge and his father appears in the opening.] ANDREW Holy sh**! You scared the sh** out of me. Why are you always doing that? GIDEON I haven't seen you in a while. ANDREW I know. I've been catching up with people around here. GIDEON Dr. Cohen called. There's nothing wrong with you. ANDREW Yeah, I think I'm starting to figure that out myself. GIDEON When are you thinking of leaving? ANDREW Uh, probably tomorrow. Um, you know, I got a lot of stuff I got to take care of in L.A. Probably have to find a new job, so... GIDEON We need to talk. ANDRE Yeah, uh, how? I mean, when? GIDEON What are you doing... now? Uh, now's not so good. I told my friend Mark, I was gonna meet up with him. But how about, uh, like later tonight? GIDEON Okay. Then we'll talk. ANDREW Yeah. GIDEON We owe that to each other. ANDREW Yeah. GIDEON We owe it to her. ANDREW Yeah. GIDEON Good. Sorry I scared you. EXT. THE CEMETERY MARK How could you leave all that lithium? I was totally going to hit you up for some, man. JESSE This f**ing guy. I'm glad you're back, man. This town is so messed up. Everyone's got their drug of choice. It's like in Brave New World. You ever read that book? Who wrote that? Um, Aldous... Aldous something. Aldous, uh... Anyway...there's like Alphas and Betas and Epsilons and all sorts of people. Huxtable. Aldous Huxtable. That's it, bro.