I am your neighbor. I seem most respectable But underneath I'm an iniquitous toad So many dreadful mishaps have befallen you --- Down at the end of your road And I live down the end of your road I'm working on ways to remove you from paradise --- From your striped lawn and your new swimming pool I place broken bottles in your geraniums --- Sabotage your gardening tools And I live down the end of your road By day I am a real estate gentleman I deal in fine properties --- cheap at the price After dark, I plan my most devious practices Which you might think are not very nice Designing a system to reverse your plumbing --- Welling up, as you sit on your private throne Will come up all kinds of vile and despicable nasties You would rather not have in your home And I live down the end of your road Dispensed loathsome creatures in your drawing room Sent doggy poo-poos in your morning mail Rat's heads and lark's wings should set your tums turning And your houses will soon be for sale And I live down the end of your road I live down the end of your road