Houston - Home For The Holidays lyrics

I creep around like this every year Like there's something that id actually do Sometimes I look in your window Sometimes I see you But usually the lights are off What would I say if you came out here? I've got half a bottle in my car And a full one at home There's something that I never told you: I want to wake up And know you're waiting somewhere for me It's conversations we never have I sat there staring Heart pounding Every single voice in my head screamed And I said nothing I wish I would have told you my side Instead of standing there trying to breathe Forcing dead air through my fake smile How could I have known There were just four months to go Until things would never change? Now every days longer And every years shorter And I'm still the same