Hoodie Allen - Little League lyrics

[Verse 1: Sarcastic spoken: Auto-tune] Ah, yeah, this is my year baby I feel like a real rapper now, like big leagues, man Talk about Ciroc, what rhymes with ciroc? (Michael clean up your room!) co*k, co*k (Clean up your room your baseball cleats are all over the floor) Mom, I'm recording for the studs, stud-stud Friday (go be a stud later) Uh, I f**ing hate my mom Yeah, I got my eyes on you I think you're almost fifteen I wanna motorboat on that tushie Ciroc's on me, I'll buy it all for you But please don't show me I.D I'm almost 28 but I'm thirsty For frat parties 'Cause we're in Rhode Island you know it (Rhode Island) My fans are all in little league teams (little league) 'Cause we're in Rhode Island and you know it Jon Kilmer auto-tuned it for me Just hold on we're jacking flows Just hold on we're jacking flows It's hard to be original Just hold on I'm jacking off (Michael did you clean up your room?) Mom, I will get to it, this is an original creation I am a f**in'...I'm not a f**boy I'm not a f**boy, ok? I f** boys, but I'm not a f**boy (laughing) let's go [Interlude: Spoken regular] Dude, I really didn't want to do this I've never seen somebody get so offended by one line This dude still thinks he's in high school and I think he's 26 You ever see back to the future? I'm Marty McFly, and that makes you Biff I apologize for any shared fans but I have to ruin his career So you can just listen to me later, alright [Verse 2] Ayo, Mike Stud, white scrub Thought you made a nice one Coming after me? Well where the f** do you get advice from? We could start a fight club I'll be Tyler Durden Murder every rapper talking especially ones you ain't heard of Conflicted (why) 'Cause I've given into this dipsh** Who's just a carbon copy of everyone in this business I'm playing sold out shows, you ain't playing with no hoes Unless you count your f**in' crew because all them dudes is b**hes Look at your statistics, you ain't selling tickets Excuse me but have you heard of Mike Stud? Crickets For a strong dude you make some f**in' weak sh** Hooking up with underage girls, homie that's creep sh** If my girl's a five, your girl's non-existent The only way you'll get a full ride is hopping on this dick Which you do, and that's just a mistake You were an athlete at Duke you should be used to getting raped Touring must be boring when your fans only react to popular 90's covers and never heard of your tracks It's like "We came here to dance, do molly and see b**bies" That's why the only ones at your shows are male groupies And I'mma dork, yea I'mma Ivy League graduate Well at least I didn't start rapping on accident Make your fans disappear like a f**ing magic trick If my careers a dick, you'd be the only one that's grabbing it You're less than average, and I ain't talking batting When you try to swing at me I'll f**ing show you what a challenge is You're defenseless, let me finish your sentence "It's Mike Stud homie, sports reference" [Interlude: Spoken Regular] (Sports reference sh** is honestly so predictable You're the lowest hanging fruit Do you even know what that means? Ugh, Nevermind)