Homer Simpson - "A Star Is Torn" Medley lyrics

[Homer] Here you go honey, sing this! [Lisa] How did you write a song so quickly [Homer] Most of the tune is plagiarized, go go go! [Medley 1 Lisa] I've been to Paris and London and Tokyo town But one crazy burg has 'em all beat hands down Jacksonville? I'm talkin' Springfield You can buy chimichangas Talkin' Springfield The chicks have big gazongas? There's tires on fire A guy named Apu And Skinner, and Grandpa And ol' Disco Stu Did I forget to mention you? You?! That's me! I'm talkin' Springfield where nobody s**s Except for Flanders [Krusty] I get it, I get it She's good Looks like they love you, kid, and the audience is always right I wish I could say the same about my stockbroker [Homer] Don't worry, honey The song I wrote you is so schmaltzy, it'll make "Moon River" sound like a farting orangutan [Medley 2: Lisa] My kitty died on Christmas Eve Daddy told me to be brave But instead of singing carols I was digging Snowball's grave [Lenny] God, I miss Lisa's cat so much [Krusty & Lisa] This is our final night Over 30 contestants have fallen through our Buzz Cola trapdoor Let us out Hey, you're supposed to clean this out every night What do you mean, talk to your shop steward? Now let's welcome the first of our two finalists, Lisa Simpson Ladies and gentlemen, I have a confession to make I didn't have my usual songwriter tonight So I took a stab at writing my own song Something that expresses what's really in my heart Bernie, if you please [Medley 3: Lisa] I'm in the final two I should be happy But all I want to do is spend more time with my pappy Now that you're gone, Dad I miss you so much and your threats against teamsters and techies and such Your management style is like Attila the Hun You were vicious, malicious But you got the job done I'm sorry I hurt you But please don't be sad You're no longer my coach But you're always my dad [Applause] [Krusty] Even the Applause-O-Meter is crying Oh, God, that's battery acid [Homer] Cameron's about to sing the song I wrote for him He's about to learn the most important lesson in the music business: Don't trust people in the music business [???] A privileged boy My dad can buy and sell ya It really doesn't matter That you're on the list in front of me I'm gonna get your table Cause I always tip the maitre d' And then I'll go to Yale Because I am a legacy I'm better than you [End]