Hat films - Flat! lyrics

[Intro: Alex Smith] Hey ya'll, straight talk ok? There's some flat out Things I gotta say. Roundies, please hear me out Stop bending theories, time to straighten things out [Verse 1: Alex Smith] Edging in my bedroom got me thinkin' bout the edge Not the guy from U2. the f**ing earth ledge Gotta prove you roundies wrong so I strolled Outside, flat cap, flat battery, lets theorize [Pre-Chorus 1: Alex Smith] I took a really long stick and put it on the ground That b**h stayed flat 'cause the Earth's not round! The earth is flat and i'll prove it in this song Just like my mountain dew that's been out too long [Chorus: Alex Smith + Ross Hornby & Chris Trott] My credit card, FLAT My ruler, FLAT This paper, FLAT Where I live? FLAT The tires on my bike? FLAT The soda in my hand? FLAT My singing pitch? FLAT This whole f**ing world? FLAT [Verse 2: Alex Smith] Open your damn eyes - you round earth clown Take a quick look - the sky is up not down If the earth is round and we're sitting on the top Then stuff at the bottom probably fell off [Pre-Chorus 2: Alex Smith] Dragons fly at the edge of the Earth Been soaring through the sky since our flat world's birth! You're not believing this? And calling us shmucks? I'll show you what's round, take a look at deez nuts! [Chorus: Alex Smith + Ross Hornby & Chris Trott] My credit card, FLAT My ruler, FLAT This paper, FLAT Where I live? FLAT The tires on my bike? FLAT The soda in my hand? FLAT My singing pitch? FLAT This whole f**ing world? FLAT [Verse 3: Alex Smith] Clearly the moons flat, there's no dark side Nobody went there - so NASA f**ing lied Hey roundies, hows that hot core doing? You're filling kids head with the sh** you're spewin' [Pre-Chorus 3: Alex Smith] So I took a big boat to the edge of the world And before my little eyes the truth unfurled There were dragons, beasts and awful things like that I sailed right home to tell everyone - the worlds flat [Chorus: Alex Smith + Ross Hornby & Chris Trott] My credit card, FLAT My ruler, FLAT This paper, FLAT Where I live? FLAT The tires on my bike? FLAT The soda in my hand? FLAT My singing pitch? FLAT This whole f**ing world? FLAT [Verse 4: Chris Trott] Uh excuse me sir I believe your facts aren't sound The circumference of the Earth is 40 mega meters round If the world is flat, which projection is factual? Mercator, Gall-Peters, or maybe the sinusoidal? A globe is always right, the flat must be distorted Which clearly means your theory is Thwarted! So the Earth, our home is an oblate spheroid I'm dropping the truth, your theory is destroyed! You think the earth's flat just like your sister's chest Well that makes sense - you haven't seen real breasts! Earth is the only planet not named after a Deity It's a place of science, and the home of your virginity!