Sit around all day remote control glued to my hand Just waiting for a visit from Ed McMahon Oppourtunity is knockin but I can't open the door Cause I'm sh** faced drunk pa**ed out on the kitchen floor I'm a bum Wating for my fortune to fall into my lap but if I gotta work for it I'd rather take a nap I can eat, I can sleep, I can play nintendo but if you paid me to go to work, I still wouldn't go I'm a bum I'm a bum sit around all day and I get nothin' done I'm a bum I'm a bum that's right I'm a bum The b**b tube replaced the dog as man's best friend doesn't sh** on the floor always has an ear to lend nacho supreme, a pizza ten hours of tv is all my life will ever be if i could pick lotto numbers like i pick my nose I'd escape the life of bein' an average Joe Til' then I'll just sit around all day remote control in hand just waiting for a visit from Ed McMahon