Hank Green - Mules Are So Half-Ass lyrics

The mink lost her furry scarf; she said it was stole And the shoe salesman wanted to help 'cause he had so much sole But then his whole left side fell off but he's all right now. And the pregnant heifer saw it happen; yeah, she had a cow. And the CO2 delivery guy always gives me gas. And I really hate mules 'cause they're so half-a**. Yeah, I really hate mules 'cause they're so half-a**. The bike can't stand up by itself; it says it's two tired And the human cannonball was late for work and he got fired And if your pants are too big, you'll get exposed in the end And if you crash your fancy car, you'll see how a Mercedes bends. And the CO2 delivery guy always gives me gas. And I really hate mules 'cause they're so half-a**. Yeah, I really hate mules 'cause they're so half-a**. I forgot how to throw a boomerang, but then it came back to me. It's just like riding a bike, or playing with your Wii. And if you don't pay your exorcist, you'll get repossessed. And the pirate shot himself so he could have that dead man's chest. And the CO2 delivery guy always gives me gas. And I really hate mules, cause they're so half-a**. Yeah, I really hate mules, cause they're so half-a**.