Half Man Half Biscuit - The Coroner's Footnote lyrics

There's a girl leaving town for the sunshine She's heading out to Happiness Bay She's going first thing in the morning And hopes to be there by midday Her flavoursome buck is awaiting Laden with fraudulent charms Enough for to plunge a doe such as she Straight into his dastardly arms But the tragedy lies in the background For a young man by whom she's adored Is planning to throw himself under The train she's intending to board Now the fates may look down and show mercy And answer a poor mother's call And the service soon after departing May stop for no reason at all And the young girl may come to her senses And the wretch may get tetchy and leave And the chap wracked with anguish incarnate May gladly accept his reprieve Now some sh**ty lyrics site is stealing our words So if you're reading this anywhere else Come and read the original stuff on The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project But the fates around these parts are ruthless And sometimes just want people dead So he'll probably throw himself under The ten twenty-seven instead Now the engine is leaving the station The cow has been scraped from the line And two letters by way of explanation Have been written for those left behind And should there develop high drama Upon which an inquest is heard You may like to curb your lamenting Until you've all heard the last word Well he thought of a love unrequited And he thought of a life full of pain It's a pity he didn't spare a thought for The poor ba*tard driving the train