Hairspray - (The Legend Of) Miss Baltimore Crabs lyrics

Velma Front step Cha cha cha Back step Cha cha cha Side step Front step Back And turn Tracy Oh my God Penny there's Link! Link. I can't believe I'm really here auditioning Penny I can't believe I'm really here watching you audition Velma Front step Cha cha cha Back step Cha cha cha Side step Front step Back And Oh Amber look at this motley crew Oh this town has certainly gone down hill since I was crowned miss Amber Oh mother no more ancient history Velma Oh my God how times have changed This girl must be blind or completely deranged But time seemed to halt when I was Miss Baltimore Crabs Amber! That move is far too dirty Amber Mother wake up from that dream of yours This isn't 1930 Velma You can laugh but life's a test Don't do this don't do that Remember mother knows best And the crown's in the vault From when I won Miss Baltimore Crabs Amber These steps are perfect ammunition Velma Let me show you how your mommy dear took out the competition Girls go get them Boys let rumba 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Those poor runner-ups might still hold some grudges They padded their cups But I screwed the judges Those broads thought they'd win If a plate they would spin in their dance Ha! Not a chance Boys put me down Oh good morning ladies Let's see what you got Ensemble Twist twist twist twist Mashed potato Mambo Velma Ready begin On my show you'll never find A thrusting hip or bump and grind Amber What's that a dance for fleas and ticks Velma Oh you should have seen my bag of tricks Oh I hit the stage batons ablaze While belting Aida and preparing soufflйs But that triple somersault is how I clinched Miss Baltimore Crabs Proceed Louann Are you scared we're on live? Tracy No I'm sure I can cope Ensemble Well this show isn't broadcast in... Cinemascope! Velma I never drank one chocolate malt No desserts for Miss Baltimore Crabs Amber This one will never get a date in those hand me down clothes Velma Ha! Kid she'll never get a date until daddy buys her a new nose I would say "Oy gevalt!" if I wasn't Miss Baltimore Crabs Amber Do you dance like you dress? Link Amber there's no reason to be cruel Velma Would you swim in an integrated pool? Tracy I sure would! I'm all for integration It's the new frontier Velma Not in Baltimore it isn't And may I be frank? First impressions can be tough And when I saw you I knew it If your size weren't enough Your last answer just blew it And so my dear, so short and stout You'll never be in, so we're kicking you out With your form and your face Ah, it isn't your fault You're just down with a case of Miss Baltimore Crabs Ugh you may go Tracy Um, thank you Penny I think they secretly liked you Lil inez May I please audition? Velma Ha! Of course not... But you may bow and exalt Because I am Miss Baltimore Crabs