H3H3Productions - TubeNews lyrics

Video begins by showing a parody of the DramaAlert intro, transitioning to show Jack in a room with a microphone, a laptop, "D-Fuel", and a "subscriber counter." JACK: It's time for TubeNews. TubeNews is the only show about news on YouTube dudes who feud for views, woo hoo. Today's subject is world-famous youtuber PewPieDie, who, uh, he's been on the show a couple of times before... hey Pewds, you're on TubeNews dude! PEWDIEPIE: Yeah, Jack... I'm just kinda sick of this YouTube drama. JACK: Totally. PEWDIEPIE: And it feels like some channels are just profiting off it, like these guys spend all day on Twitter just looking for drama to exploit. It's kinda sad, actually. JACK: Yeah, shut up for a sec... A Twitter argument between h3h3Productions and boogie2988 is shown onscreen, and a screenshake effect is done on Jack's face as sinister music plays in the background. PEWDIEPIE: Uh, hello? Jack? Not this sh** again... The video cuts away from Jack, and the DramaAlert intro parody is shown once again. It then transitions back to show Jack in the same room and position he began the video with. JACK: It's time for TubeNews! You guys are in luck because today, we have a TubeFeud. A TubeFeud is when two YouTube dudes with opposing views crudely feud, too rude! Today's TubeFeud is between H3-Squared and Boogie-Four-Numbers. And just so you guys know, I'm putting up a lit warning, because, uh, it's gonna get pretty lit fam, it's gonna get pretty lit, woo-hoo-hoo! As Boogie and h3h3 begin arguing, Jack starts eating ice cream out of a Party Pail Ice Cream tub. BOOGIE: How do you not like Overwatch? I don't get it. H3H3: Are you seriously arguing in favor of the sh**ty game, another sh**ty game by Blizzard? They didn't even release it with Competitive, it's already been out for like a month! BOOGIE: The competitive stuff is coming soon, Ranked mode is coming soon. All games are work in progress, it's, it's, they're continuing to work on. H3H3: "Oh, there's three levels! Let's add a fourth level! We spent five years in development but we didn't..." Boogie and h3h3's voices fade as the camera pans to the canisters of D-Fuel. Jack opens the canister, scoops out white powder, puts it down on the table, and uses a Transformers card to cut it. He then pretends to snort it using a $20 bill, clearly parodying c**aine use. As Jack begins taking a drug trip, the video quickly transitions back to show Jack in the same place the video began with. JACK: In other TubeNews, we have YouTuber Sky Will.i.ams to talk about a dark chapter of his past. SKY WILLIAMS: Hey, thanks for having me, Jack! JACK: Okay... SKY WILLIAMS: So, a while ago, I was doxxed. And I had my Twitter account hacked... JACK: Aw man, that's terrible... SKY WILLIAMS: Yeah, I just got out of an abusive relationship and that, like, really just messed me up. Jack is shown playing "Drama Bingo." JACK: Okay, yeah, have you ever had your nudes leaked? SKY WILLIAMS: Uh, uh, uh, what? JACK: Your nudes. Have they ever been leaked? SKY WILLIAMS: No... I don't have any of those pictures, I mean, I accidentally sent somebody a dick pic... does that count? Sky's voice fades as the screen transitions to show iDubbbzTV stating on Twitter "Put me on #TubeNews I've got juicy stuff." The screenshake effect and sinister music from before return as a deepened voice says "Hey, that's pretty good." The DramaAlert parody intro plays again, transitioning to show Jack in the same place he's been throughout the video. JACK: I- boys and girls, today we have a TubeNews exclusive! YouTuber iDoobbbz has some juicy, juicy gossip just for us. iDooobbbz, thanks for joining us, dude, what's up? IDUBBBZ: Hi, I just wanted to call in and say "go f** yourself." I hate your show, I hate everything that it stands for, you're what's wrong with YouTube. What are you thinking, wearing the trash you wear? Dress your own age, old man, the snapbacks you wear have made me honestly consider suicide. You're disgusting, your show is awful, and the next time you pop open one of your big tubs of ice cream, I hope you choke on it. Cancer. iDubbbz hangs up, and Jack's Twitter screen is again shown. He begins ma**-blocking dozens of people who have tweeted at him saying "I disagree with you." JACK: Blocked! "I disagree with you" oh cool, I block you! Block! Block! Block, block, block! Block, block, block, block! Mmmkay, mmm yes, block! Knock knock, who's there? I don't know, cause you're blocked! Oh, MysteryGuitarMan doesn't agree with me? And... blocked! Wait, what? "Hey man, you really need to fact-check your stuff." ....The f** does that mean? After an outro card plays with a clip of Jack's "Drama Is More Popular Than Content" alongside links to all the YouTubers featured in the video, Jack appears in the same spot he typically does his outros. JACK: Hey, everyone! It's me, the world-famous host of TubeNews. When I'm not profiting off drama, I'm slurping down a big ol' tub of my delicious D-Fuel. It tastes great, it's for d-bags everywhere, so pick yours up today! And don't forget to use my code... it's "b**hboi."