Gym Cla** Heroes - Girl or Dog lyrics

[Intro] What up, Paco? Little f**er She's such a mess, so depressed He just looks at me I look at her and see my reflection crookedly He can't talk but he understands All I want is quality time with both of 'em But she's got other plans [Verse 1] We shared a common love But she was hesitant I dove in face first like f** the prerequisite He tried to warn me This girl was bad news But I was lonely, in need of a companion Canine or female, I'm like f** it I'll take them both And lost track of what I needed most (how selfish) She had stories of abandonment and Prozac They kind of bored me to the point I felt concerned Until I learned that he'd been watching every episode And taking notes on how to sit and wait his turn Now if only I could find a way to make her stop talking about herself for more than two minutes We could get married What a scary thought All I saw was ducks crying and a silent child absorbing everything Waiting for his chance to scream Like for instance, the time she made me feel guilty For my accomplishments and her lack of pa**ion Mind s** was an understatement, let's call it brain rape And when I needed them walks, he didn't hesitate So now I'm like evaluating every move she makes Cause her words get more irrelevant with every sip she takes Sometimes he gets me pissed and small sh** escalates It's a strange relationship but it's a bond that never breaks And I strongly suggest, the next time that you find yourself looking for love Just get a pet. And wear a bulletproof vest Cause you never know, she could be the one looking to bum a cigarette It's such a simple concept, never trust a big a** with emo gla**es and alcoholic tendencies Chances are that in all her drunken splendor She'll leave out the part about her chemical dependencies