Groucho Marx - Uncle Herman, Chiropodist lyrics

Spoken: It was a very peculiar family. I had an uncle who was a chiropodist. He would come to your house, and he had a small suitcase, and he would cut your toenails for twenty-five cents. Then he got a job, 'cause there is not much money in cutting toenails for twenty-five cents. And it was cold, it was winter, so he got a job setting fire to hotels in the Catsk**s. Then he was so good at this, that they finally transferred him, and they gave him a job in the Adirondacks, where they had much bigger hotels to burn down. He finally wound up in Sing-Sing.