Groucho Marx - Dr. Hackenbush lyrics

[Intro: Choir] So this is Dr. Hackenbush, the famous medico You're welcome Dr. Hackenbush! (If that's the case, I'll go) Oh no, you mustn't go! (Who said I mustn't go? The only reason that I came is so that I can go) [Chorus: Hackenbush] I'm Dr. Hackenbush My medical standing's very high Well anyways, ladies and gentlemen I Am Dr. Hackenbush (He's Dr. Hackenbush!) I'm Dr. Hackenbush As a matter of fact, to be exact I'm Dr. Hackenbush [Verse 1: Hackenbush] (I'm sure that they'd all like to hear Some facts about your great career) Although my horn I hate to blow There's one thing that you ought to know [Chorus: Hackenbush] I'm Dr. Hackenbush Which all my friends will verify Well anyways, ladies and gentlemen I Am Dr. Hackenbush (He's Dr. Hackenbush!) I'm Dr. Hackenbush You never would guess, but nevertheless I'm Dr. Hackenbush! [Verse 2: Hackenbush] For ailments abdominal, my charge is a nominal Though I'm great for, I've a rate for tonsillectomy Sick and healthy, poor and wealthy, come direct to me "Oh, God bless you!" they yell When I send them home well But they never, no they never send a check to me I've won a claim for curing ills, both in the north and south You'll find my name just like my pills: In everybody's mouth I've never lost a case (he's never lost a case!) I've lost a lot of patience but I've never lost a case My diagnosis never fails, I know just what to do Whenever anybody ails, I'm sympathetic too My heart within me melts (his heart within him melts!) No matter what I treat them for, they die from something else [Bridge: Hackenbush] When your nerves start to rock, put your faith in your doc When you're sick, he will stick to the end With the possible exception of your mother A doctor's a man's best friend (Yes, a doctor's a man's best friend) A doctor's a man's best friend, oh A doctor's a man's best friend (A doctor is a man's best friend) A doctor is a man's best friend Right or wrong, wrong or right Night and day, day and night On his call you can always depend With the possible exception of your mother and your father And your uncles and your brothers And your nephews and your nieces And your sisters and your cousins Whom you number by the dozens A doctor is a man's best friend