George Carlin - Roman Torture lyrics

You wanna hear a really cool torture that the Romans invented? They also used it as a form of capital punishment, it's really creative. They would take the guy in question, stuff him in a burlap sack, seal the sack up real tight and throw it in the river. But, and here's the creative part, inside the sack, with the guy, they would put a dog, a monkey, and a snake. Okay? A dog, a monkey, and a snake. That's f**ing creative! Imagine being inside a burlap sack, underwater, in the dark, sitting next to a drowning monkey. Think he'd be moving around a little bit? The dog would be going apesh**, we know that. And the snake? Well, he'd probably be getting curious about what all the activity was inside the sack. He might do anything. Whatever he did would probably involve venom and his teeth. You know what you'd be doing? You'd be praying to God that the snake bit the monkey and the dog ate the snake. Praying.