I lost my father at 9 and my mother at 12 to a disease called Aids, I didn't even have the words to describe my feelings at that age, Sad, Hurt, Dazed, Shocked, Confused, Enraged Looking back now, really I was ashamed, and afraid, Ashamed that I became an orphan, Ashamed that I felt unworthy of love and belonging, Ashamed when birthdays, school plays, Mothers and Fathers Day, and every family holiday came around, So, Ashamed I often lied and said my parents were out of town, Afraid of what the future had in store, Afraid of being a young boy with only my grandmother's support, Afraid of being seen as pitiful and weak, Afraid of people thinking I had the disease, In a way I did, but not the same, The disease of Fear and Shame, It made me hide behind lies, just to disguise, my inner pain, It left me dancing in the rain, until I was no longer a human being, The more I stood silent, private, and held things in, The more the disease gained strength, Strong enough to grab a hold of me, Strong enough to take complete control of me, It wasn't until I found the outlet of poetry, That I built the courage to vocally, demand fear and shame to let go of me, Looking back, I now realize, That even though the wounds of my parent's d**h seemed to be healed on the externally, My entire life I was bleeding internally. The Power of Shame,