[Verse 1] The man without a tan came strolling into town He had the whitest collar and he brought a scene around The girls were all a-drooling as they hummed a lullaby The men were all suspicious but they didn't know just why The man without a tan, he's a threat to you and me He has the kind of hands that you might see on your TV And if he touched your woman, how the hell could she resist? I'm sure he'll entertain her with a little bit of this [Chorus] Our rugged handsomeness is no match for The man without a tan The man without a tan The man without a tan The man without a tan [Verse 2] The man without a tan, he had a walk around the town He found a rollin' restaurant and entered and sat down He ordered Coca-Cola with some lemon but no ice He reached into his pocket and he found his lucky dice He finished up his cola and the waitress thought, "So soon?" He looked a little bit like Gary Cooper in High Noon He left to find a movie theatre, it was shuttered down It seemed like there were lots of things that had been shuttered down [Chorus] Our rugged handsomeness is no match for The man without a tan The man without a tan The man without a tan The man without a tan [Bridge] I overheard my girlfriend on her landline telephone She thought I couldn't hear her but she really should've known The man without a tan was on the line and being cute I stood back in the shadows, I was fuming in my boots [Outro] Our rugged handsomeness is no match for The man without a tan The man without a tan Twenty years have pa**ed and I'm the man without a tan ([?] to be a rugged handsome man) The man without a tan The man without a tan And then you came right out with it and said, "You are my man" (Then you came right out with it and said, "You are my man") The man without a tan The man without a tan And then you came right out with it and said, "You are my man" (Then you came right out with it and said, "You are my man") The man without a tan The man without a tan And then you came right out with it and said, "You are my man" (Then you came right out with it and said, "You are my man") The man without a tan