Fat Mike - Xmas Has Been X'ed lyrics

It's funny how some fables became historic When the authors clearly wrote them to be metaphoric But people will believe anything if it's written Especially in stone or ancient scroll December 25th has been blacklisted Since Dawkins found the proof Jesus never existed It was the last thing anyone ever expected Xmas has been X'd No colored lights, no shopping sprees No more presents under dead trees St. Nick is dead but we don't grieve We celebrate the last Christmas Eve Jesuits are slowly turning Dianetic Protestants increasingly become agnostic Pentecostal churches are hanging pentagrams Priests and Nuns are molesting each other Methodists and Baptists are claiming Buddhist Evangelicals surprisingly are Nudist But mostly everyone is trying to become Jew Cuz Easter's canceled too No more egg hunts, no Sunday ma** Fridays are fair, Wednesdays don't ash They canceled lent and slowed down fast Enjoy Christmas cuz it's your last No shopping sprees (Don't worry son) No more presents (We don't need christ) under dead trees (We got eight nights) St. Nick is dead (We got mitzvah) but we don't grieve (The're all canceled) We celebrate (Our Hanukah) the last Christmas eve