Epic Rap Battles of History - Captain Kirk Vs. Christopher Columbus lyrics

Chris Columbus Arrivederci, I'mma leave before this battle begins 'Cause we both know in the end which of these captain's gonna win I'll show you how a real explorer handles a situation I'll beat you so bad they'll feel it in the next a-generation So bring in on, I'll whip you like a Klingon My rhymes will burrow in your ears like the Wrath of Khan I've got a neck chop for Spock, I'll put my sword through Sulu Check into a Priceline hotel and watch your fat a** on Hulu Captain Kirk I'm the enterprising captain, James Tiberious Kirk Representing Riverside, Iowa, Planet Earth I hear you call yourself and explorer but I'm just not having it You discovered a new world that was already inhabited Why don't you boldly go someplace you've never been before Like India or any destination you actually set sail for You spaghetti eating f**, how's your spice rack doing? I'll be chilling in my spaceship, have fun canoeing Columbus You know, a-rapping against you is-a not even fun It's like-a somebody set-a your brains on stun I am the fabric of history, you are a fictional stain I'll stick a flag up-a your a**, and-a claim you for Spain Kirk Mister Spock, beam me back to 1492 So I can beat this man like it's my job We'll see how Isabella likes my captain's log It's Kobayashi for you, there's no way you could win When your weak crew sees me approaching they'll be like, "Damnit, it's Jim" I will double fist punch you, you slave making b**h Now, get your genocidal a** off of my bridge