Epic Rap Battles of History - Benjamin Franklin Vs. Billy Mays & Sham Wow Guy lyrics

Benjamin Franklin I'm big Ben Franklin and this shan't be pretty Let me instruct you how we battle in the city of Philly You couldn't sell Rick James a bag of crack, you're out of practice My victory's more certain than d**h or taxes Fact is, you're a hack, whack QVC joke You peddle soap that cleans bird sh** from my windows I'll craft a lyrical coffin and then spit the nails in Call me Arthur Miller son, 'cause it's d**h of a salesman Billy Mays Hi, Billy Mays here, with a special TV offer Watch me crush this bald fat foppish founding father I'll take my awesome auger and sow your Quaker Oats I'll shoot your rhymes down like a regiment of redcoats I'm lord of the pitch and leader of home sales You're just a lumpy pumpkin who invented the mail Benny's got kite 'n' key, but he's in for a shock When I strike you with bolts from my lightning rod co*k Franklin Stop, I protest these intolerable raps It takes just one easy payment for me to whoop your a** Because I'm mint, I'm money, I'm an educated gentleman So join or die, Bill, 'cause it's all about the Benjamin Mays But wait, there's more... Announcer Is there anyone who can finish this battle? Anyone? Anyone? Sham Wow Guy I can, you following me camera guy? 'Cause it's about to get furious Your gonna love my nuts, until your bifocal-curious Your boy, George, chopped down trees, you couldn't break a piece of balsa. Slap chop your face make a double chin salsa Your style's so broke, they call you Poor Richard It's bad enough I gotta see you every time I tip a stripper Vince against a founding father is just too bad 'Cause after this, America is gonna lose a dad