Epic Rap Battles of History - Frederick Dougla** vs Thomas Jefferson lyrics

[Intro] EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! THOMAS JEFFERSON! VERSUS! FREDERICK DOUGLASS! BEGIN! [Verse 1: Thomas Jefferson] When in the course of human events It becomes necessary for a battle to commence Then kplow! I hit 'em with the illness of my quill I'm endowed with certain unalienable sk**s Let me run down my resume, will ya? Set up a little place called the United States Sound familiar? I told King George he could eat a fat dick When it comes to declaration I'm the first draft pick I'll topple any tyrant, so kings and pirates beware I'm so down with revolutions, I invented the swivel chair I've many volumes on my shelves, it's true But I've yet to read the three books you wrote about YOU Looking like a skunk in a three piece suit Didn't come back from Paris to battle Pepe Le Pew First Secretary of State, VP number two Not to mention third president, the f**'d you do? [Verse 2: Frederick Dougla**] You finished? ...Okay Straight outta bondage! A brainy mother f**er here to diss you Big hair, big nuts, big issues Starting with your nickel: there's a real declaration Heads for racist, tails for a slave plantation You're a soft white Monticello Marshmallow Watching my people sweat while you sat playing cello, Hello! But now you're facing me, Freddy D I'd never work for your a**, but I'll kick it for free (Ugh!) Your stone face on Rushmore ain't nothing Check my photos, now that's real muggin' The face of a free man, taught himself to read, man No compromise, you couldn't whip a 5th of me, man! You got a self evident truth of your own You let freedom ring, but never picked up the phone! [Verse 3: Thomas Jefferson] Oh Frederick, I've never heard a verse I dug less Alright I admit it, I confess I participated in a broken system that I hated But I needed to keep my financial status situated And the words I used where "hideous blot" To describe the slave trade and the pain it hath brought And I fought to stop the trade of new slaves in Virginia When I ran the whole state and still made it home for dinner So forgive me, I was busy Man, I had a lot to do But we did it, you're free now So...we cool? [Verse 4: Frederick Dougla**] This ain't Louisiana man I ain't buying it You talk about freedom, but you ain't applying sh**! So no, we ain't cool You founding absentee father You had six babies with your slave mama And never even bothered To free her when you died On the 4th of July It's a very important holiday But what the f** does it mean to this guy? Cause I celebrate December 6th, 1865 The day the 13th damn amendment was ratified And I ceased to be an alien to your unalienable rights And "We, the People" stopped meaning "We the people, who are white!" Man, you did some good things I ain't denying your fame I'm just saying, they need to put an asterisk Next to your name [Outro] WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP(x13) BATTLES(x3) OF HISTORY!