Epic Rap Battles of History - Blackbeard vs. Al Capone lyrics

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY AL CAPONE VERSUS BLACKBEARD BEGIN Blackbeard: I come strapped with six pistols and a dagger walk under the black flag with a scallywag swagger ain't no parrot on my shoulder and no rings in my ear I'm an irate pirate real swashbuckling buccaneer beef with me please I'm the high seas Caesar my cold heart is many degrees beneath the deep freezer you're an obese greasy sleaze squeezing a diseased peter that no skeezer would touch if she had fifty foot tweezers don't start a war with me you're not hardcore I'll pimp slap those face scars of yours port and starboard you spent time in Alcatraz I'm sure you were fine if you dropped the soap as little as you drop dope rhymes Al Capone: I'm a busy man Captain Crunch I'll make this quick I'm ruining pirates faster than Johnny Depp did I had syphilis yeah well you're a huge dick with a scurvy ridden ship filled with bilge rat pricks I run an indicate criminal syndicate so show respect or get that tongue ripped out your neck and shoved straight up your poop deck slapping b**h a** teaches back since I was fourteen you ain't a tough guy my kids dress up like you for Halloween I'll use that fuse in your hat to light up you and your buddies then burn your sailboat down and collect the insurance money then maybe they find your bloated body dead and washed up on the beach this is Capone rapping and I'm capping this Captain capisce? Blackbeard: The Valentine's Ma**acre brought you condemnation but I'm gonna sink you faster than your income tax evasion when I toss you overboard like a mob abomination so prepare to learn the Davy Jones locker combination forty cannon on the Queen Anne your gang can't stop it I'll pilfer all your rum and sell it back at a profit cause I'm a criminal legend with a bad a** name you're a fat thug with an STD in his brain Al Capone: C'mon they chopped your head off and they hung it from a rope the only legend you left was your prohibition on soap I mean that rat nest beard's trapped so many crumbs this bum could get marooned and still eat lunch for a month I'm the emcee a**a**in slash like Edward Kenway rap so hard cal me Al dente take your little sloop John B and go home tell South Carolina Blackbeard got Capwned WHO WON WHO'S NEXT YOU DECIDE EPIC RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP EPIC RAAAAAAAAAAAAAP EPIC RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP BATTLES OF HISTORY