Eminem - Slim Shade EP lyrics

May I have your attention please Will the Reals Slim Shady plese stand up I repeat, Will the real slim shady please standup Were gonna have a problem here Y'all act like yall never seen a white person before, jaws on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door and started whoopin her a** worse than before they first got divorced and started throwin over furniture, it's the return of the .. oh wait,no way, you're kidding, he didn't just say what i think he did, did he? and dr.dre said... nothing you idiots dr.dre's dead he 's locked in my basement! feminist women love Emimem chigg chika Slim Shady i'm sick of him, look at him, walkin around grabbin his you know what and flippin at you know who, yeah but he's so cute though, yeah i prolly got a couple'a screws up in my head loose, but no worse than whats goin on in your parents bedroom, sometimes i wanna get on tv and just let loose, but i cant, but its cool for ??tom green?? to hump a moose, my bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips, an if im lucky you might just give it a little kiss, and thats the message we deliver to little kids and expect them not to know what a womans cli*oris is, of course they gonna know wat intercourse is by the time they hit fourth grade the got the discovery channel don't they? we aint nothin but mammals, well some of us are cannibals who cut other people open like antelopes but if we can hump dead animals and antelopes, then theres no reason that a man and another man can't elope, but if you feel like i feel i've got the antidote, women wear your pantyhose, sing the chorus an it goes. im slim shady yes im the real shady, all the other slim shady's are just imatating, so won't the real slim shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up, im like a headtrip to listen, coz im only givin you things that you joke about with your friends inside your living room, the only difference is i got the balls to say in front of ya'll an i dont gotta be short or sugar-coated at all, i jus get on the mike an spit it an whether u like to admit it,*riit* i jus sh** it better than ninety percent of you rappers out there, and you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums, its funny, coz at the rate im goin when im thirty, i'll be the only person in the nursing home flirtin, pinchin nurses a**es while im jackin off jerkin the gherkin and this whole bag of viagra isn't workin, an every single person is a slim shady lurkin who could be workin at burger king, spittin on your onion rings, *** through the parkin lot circling screamin i don't give a f**, with his windows down and his system up so would the real slim shady please stand up, and put one of those fingers on each hand up, an be proud to be outta your mind, an outta control, and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?