Eminem - Get Ready lyrics

Yo. yo! (* Eminem hachs up spit *) Mic check. (My dick!) Testing. one, two (* Eminem hach-spits on mic *) Ffff-f**. (My dick!) My nuts. My attitude is worse than NWA's was I'll battle you over stupid sh** and diss people who ain't have sh** to do with it, like Cool J does (My tattoo!) You see me standin outside of your buildin; screamin, "Puffy is good, (HEY!) but Slim Shady is for the children!" (WAIT!) I look at my life in a new light -- f** it Give me two mics; I write songs for me -- f** what you like You're probably hear me rap half-hearted; cause I don't like rap anyway I'm just tryin to get my p**no career started Every place and event. +Been There, Done That+ sh**, Dre stuck me in a suitcase when he went (* zipper sound *) "Come on, let's go!" Want a deal? Study these 5 chapters Lesson One: Throw demos as hard as you can at signed rappers Lesson Two: Face em and diss em (whattup dog?) Don't give em a demo; kidnap em (I want you to come with me) and make em come to your basement and listen (you're gonna f**in check this out) Lesson Three: Get a job at a label; switch demos with Canibus and put yours on the owner's table (here listen!) Lesson Four: 'Know you heard this before' "Hey let me get your number; I'll call you tomorrow, for sure!" Don't act like a fan -- you wanna get signed? Get the whitest A&R you can find Pull him aside and rap as wack as you can Lesson Five: Get a hook-up at Jive Dress up like I.C.P. and have them come see you perform live And that's the key, but when you see me on the street; I ain't givin you sh** b**h - don't even bother askin me (get away from me) Toilet water splashes me right in the a** when I'm spittin cause I'm always sh**tin when I'm rappin like Master P (UNNNGGGGH!) Got a bl**job from Paula Jones, and stuffed it so far in her mouth my balls broke both of her collarbones (OWW!) Told Mya this sh** was all about me-ah ("It's all about me.") Gave Alyssa Milano syphillis, mono and gonorrhea ("You're a dick!") And all three of my main girls said SEE-YA Cause Brandy and Monica walked in and caught me f**in Aaliyah (What? Oh my God!) I splish splash while I'm takin a bath Grab a handful of pills, break em in half, take em and laugh White trash -- f**in your wife in the a** ("Oh! Ooh Shady! Oooh!") While you're out siphoning gas for your lawnmower to cut the gra** So if I hurt your self-esteem and you get dissed too bad [Yo why you diss me?] You know I just be sayin that to Get You Mad And when I rap about a buncha sh** you wished you had [A big dick!] You know I just be sayin that to Get You Mad "I can't listen to that song, that sh**'s too sad!" You know I just be sayin that to Get You Mad "He'll never make it, his wrist is slit too bad!" [Nurse! Nurse!] You know I just be sayin that to Get You Mad What a wonderful day; I should go outside and play Ain't no need to sit inside the house and hibernate Hi Renee! (Oh hi!) I was just about to toss a live grenade in your driveway (WHAT?) and drive away (* car peels out *) Are you afraid of a blade made of a razor with AIDS Blood drippin from it, rippin your stomach like a paper mache You talk a lotta sh**, but you was never ill though I'm sick enough to beat you to d**h with a feather pillow Tipped over some cows, just for a joke and a laugh (MOOOOO!) Jumped up, choked a giraffe, snapped his neck and broke it in half Wagin wars, went on stage and sprayed Cage with +Agent Orange+ And wiped my a** with his page in Source (Here!) The demon is here, steamin this year I rip [*Mystikal's*] voicebox out, scream in his ear (AHHHHHH!) It's not a gimmick b**h, it's an image I live it Give a f**? I don't know what a f** is to give it "Yeah I don't think this guy is well." I'm high as hell I'll beat you with a live cat when I'm swinging him by his tail [* impersonating Method Man *] I'll f**in, I'll f**in Lay your nuts on the dresser Just your nutsack by itself And bang them sh**s with a spiked bat Cut your neck off and sew your head right back And leave you like that You just triggered the prick who just mixed liquor Who's itchin to leave you disfigured and stiffer than Chris-topher Reeves, I was teething with strep throat while your mother was breastfeeding And gave her the flesh-eating disease I'm iller than takin a hammer and beatin your knees and walkin through South Central L.A., bleedin in jeans (Am I a Blood or a Crip?) Wakin up the next day in breathin machines Flashin back to being shot and repeatin the scenes on how you just got smoked, and if you do live You'll be too scared to tell it, like a Biggie and 'Pac joke So if I hurt your self-esteem and you get dissed too bad You know I just be sayin that to Get You Mad And when I rap about a fat b**h that you wished you had You know I just be sayin that to Get You Mad "I can't listen to that song, that sh**'s too sad" You know I just be sayin that to Get You Mad "He'll never make it, his wrist is slit too bad" You know I just be sayin that to Get You Mad I know that makes you real mad, don't it? (uh-huh) That's right, Slim Shady (yup) Sway & Tech Sprayin wreck (b**h) And we don't give a heck (uh-uh) or a damn. or a f**. or a sh** So s** my motherf**in dick