[Produced by Dr. Dre] [Hook x2] Hi, my name is, what? My name is, who? My name is, chka-chka Slim Shady Hi, my name is, huh? My name is, what? My name is, chka-chka Slim Shady [Intro] Excuse me! Can I have the attention of the cla** for one second? [Verse 1] Hi kids, do you like Primus? (Yeah, yeah!) Wanna see me stick 9 inch nails through each one of my eyelids? Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? Try 'cid and get messed up worse than my life is? My brain's dead weight I'm trying to get my head straight But I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate And Dr. Dre said "Slim Shady, you's a basehead!" Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Man, you wasted!" Well, since age twelve I felt like a caged elf Who stayed to himself, in one space, chasin his tail (Blblblblblbl!) Got so drunk and ripped Pamela Lee's lips off, kissed them and said, "I didn't know silicone was supposed to be this soft!" I'm bout to pa** out and crash, and fall in the gra** Faster than a fat man who sat down too fast Come here, lady "Shady wait a minute, that's my girl, dawg!" I don't give a damn Dre sent me to tick the world off! [Hook] [Verse 2] My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high (Damn.) Thanks a lot, next year I'll be thirty-five I smacked him in his face with an eraser Chased him with a stapler Told him to change the grade of the paper (NOW.) Walked in the club and I had my jacket zipped up Served the bartender, and walked out with the tipcup Extraterrestrial running over pedestrians In a spaceship while they're screaming at me "Let's just be friends!" 99 percent of my life I was lied to I just found out my mom does more dope than I do I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper Make a record about d** and name it after her (Here, mom!) You know you blew up when the women rush your stands And try to touch your hands like some screaming Usher fans This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph So I signed it: "Dear Dave, thanks for the support, elohssa!" [Hook] [Verse 3] Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (GET HIM!) Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, operate! I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive [screaming] Am I coming or going? I can barely decide I just drank a fifth of Kool-Aid, dare me to drive? (Go ahead.) All my life I was very deprived I ain't had a woman in years My palms too hairy to hide [whoops] Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk [krr] I spit when I talk, I'll **** anything that walks When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits How you gonna breastfeed me mom!? (WAH!) You ain't got no tits! I lay awake and strap myself in the bed With a bulletproof vest on and tap myself in the head (Blblblblblbl!) I'm steaming mad And by the way, when you see my dad Ask him if he bought the p**no mag to see my a** [Hook]