[Verse 1] Step right up, I'm about to light up the skyline So bright, I'mma f** your whole night up Light up your glow sticks and go stick a stick in your a** This is the ghost of Christmas past This is your host, you're supposed to kiss his a** This is gross but listen close, if you don't You can go stick your whole frickin' nose against his crack 'til he lets one go and blows your whiskers back And get a great big old whiff cause if you last without pa**ing out You'll be on the next episode of Fear Factor, yeah, I'm back to, back to what? I don't know, smack a little child actor's bu*t, Mike Jackson, what? What the f** you want? I got a blunt and some Jesus juice Who needs an excuse these days The way they rally around pedophiles, you lucky I don't pee in your face I can do anything and apologize for it later as long As it ain't a racist tape from '88, than I'm straight of that cannot be forgave If I drank pee for, 18 years straight and ate sh** every day On a porcelain plate that was shaped like a toilet with a fork and steak, knife For the rest of my life and had to watch my ex-wife get f**ed by Vanilla Ice Twice a day, cause I said N-I-G-G-A, when I was a teenager Blaow-blaow, Shade uh 45, shorty, let me get your number, baby Maybe I can hump your leg or something? But it's time for me to go, so I stopped, jumped in the vehicle It's like this, because of that b**b, right?