Eminem - Comin' Out My Closet (parody) lyrics

[Intro] Where's my penis? I have no penis in my bu*t hole - there you go Yeah.. yo, yo Have you ever been hated or discriminated against? I have; I've been penetrated and ejaculated against Rammin' shafts up my f*ggot a**, look at my bra** Ever since cla** I've been s**in' off my teachers to pa** All this cum motion unloadin' run deep as ocean's explodin' Nut keeps splashin' from f*ggots just s** 'em off and keep goin' Nut-takin' bummer I'm known as to every one in my region Keep stickin' a** in the mornin' and takin' co*ks in the evenin' Leaves me with a taste as sour as seminal in my mouth See they can bugger me, but y'all never figured me out Look at me now; you know I got a dick in me now. Blame my momma? She was the fattest s*ut in the house! Chorus: I'm sorry momma! I never meant to hurt you! I never meant to make you cry; but tonight I'm comin' out my closet (one more time) I said I'm sorry momma! I never meant to hurt you! I never meant to make you cry; but tonight I'm comin' out my closet Ha! I got some vibrators in my closet and I don't know if no one knows it So before they throw me inside my coffin and close it I'ma expose it; I'll take you back to '83 before I ever had to worry about the HIV I was a baby, maybe I was just a couple of months My f*ggot father used to put his willy up in my bum cause he split, my an*l cherry then he came in my eye And lookin' back on it all now I f**in' wish I could die I look at gays, see, and try to picture their bare behinds Even if I hated men , I'd grit my teeth and I'd try to make it work with 'em, at least for papa's sake He maybe made some mistakes but he's the only gay who taught me everything that I know today What he did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb But the smartest sh** he did was put a condom on his king dong ''cause he'da k**ed me; sh** he woulda shot cum in my throat It's my life, I'd like to welcome y'all to "The Batty Boy Show" Repeat Chorus Now I would never diss my own momma just to get recognition Take a second to listen for who you think this record is dissin' But put yourself in my position; just try to envision witnessin' your momma gobblin' Mormon missionaries in the kitchen b**hin' that someone's always pullin' down her drawers and clit's itchin' Goin' through public who*ehouse systems, victim of crack-controlled pimpin' My whole life I was made to believe I was straight when I wasn't 'til I grew up, now I do what you did, I'm sick to my stomach guzzlin' it Wasn't it the reason you gave that VD to me MA? So you can try but can't deny the way you treated me MA? But guess what? You're gettin' Alzheimer's now, brain dead and alone too And your care home security's gettin' lax, you're gonna know when I bone you My a**hole's gettin' so big now; you should see it, it's beautiful But you'll never see it - 'til I sh** on you at your funeral! See what hurts me the most is when I take co*ks that are long Rips through my thong - keep tellin' myself its all 'cause'a mom! But how dare you try to take what you didn't help me to get You selfish b**h; I fought f**in' long and hard for these dicks Remember when Elton came out gay and you said you're glad it's not me? Well guess what, I +AM+ gay - gay as a f*ggot can be! Repeat Chorus (2x) till end