Elvis Costello - The Night Before Larry Was Stretched lyrics

the night before larry was stretched Oh, the night before larry was stretched Well the boys they all paid him a visit A bit in their sacks too they fetched For they sweated their duds till they ris' it For larry was always the lad When a boy was condemned to the squeezer Would fence all the duds that he had For to help his poor friend to a sneezer-- -- and warm his ol' gob 'fore he died Well the boys they came crowding in fast And they threw all their stools 'round about him Six glims round his trap-case was placed For he couldn't be well-waked without them When one of them asked, "could he die Without having duly repented?" Said larry, "that's all in me eye And first by the clergy invented-- --for to get a fat bit for themselves" "oh and i'll be cut up like a pie: And me nob from me body be parted. You're in the wrong box, then, says i, For blast me if they're so hard-hearted "a chalk on the back of your neck Is all that jack catch dares to give you Then mind not such trifle's affect Oh why should the likes of them grieve you?-- --and now boys, come tip us the deck." Well the cards being called for they played Until larry found one of them cheated A point in his napper was made For the boy he'd been easily heated "oh, hold me the hokey, you thief! I'll scuttle your knob with me dodle! You cheat me because i'm in grief Ah, but soon i'll demolish your noddle-- --and leave you your claret to drink" Then the clergy came in with his book And he spoke him so smooth and so civil Larry tipped him k**-sour look And he pitched his big wig to the devil Then sighing he threw back his head For to get a sweet drop of the bottle And dutiful sighing he said, "oh the hempt 'twill be soon 'round me throttle-- --and choke me poor windpipe to d**h. "oh then sure it's the best way to die Oh the dead are no better the living For now when the gallows is high Our journey is shorter to heaven." But what hara**es larry the most And makes his soul poor melancholy Is he thinks of the time when his ghost It will come in a sheet to sweet molly-- --"oh sure, it'll k** her alive" So moving, these last words he spoke We all vented our tears in a shower For me own part i thought me heart broke For to see him cut down like a flower On his travels we watched him next day The throttler i thought i could k** him But larry not one word did say Nor change did he come to king william-- --and then did his color grow white. When he came to the old dublin chit He was tucked up so neat and so pretty The rumbler jugged off from his feet And he died with his face to the city He kicked too, but that was all pride For soon you might see 'twas all over Soon after the noose was untied In darkness we waked him in clover-- --and sent him to take his ground sweat Oh, the night before larry was stretched Well the boys they all paid him a visit A bit in their sacks too they fetched For they sweated their duds till they ris' it For larry was always the lad When a boy was condemned to the squeezer Would fence all the duds that he had For to help his poor friend to a sneezer-- --and warm his ol' gob 'fore he died --and warm his ol' gob 'fore he died