Music by elton john Lyrics by bernie taupin Available on the album don't shoot me i'm only the piano player I was sitting in the cla**room Trying to look intelligent In case the teacher looked at me She was long and she was lean She's a middle-aged dream And that lady means the whole world to me It's a natural achievement Conquering my homework With her image pounding in my brain She's an inspiration For my graduation And she helps to keep the cla**room sane Oh teacher i need you like a little child You got something in you to drive a schoolboy wild You give me education in the lovesick blues Help me get straight come out and say Teacher i, teacher i, teacher i, teacher i need you I have to write a letter Tell about my feelings Just to let her know the scene Focus my attention On some further education In connection with the birdies and the bees So i'm sitting in the cla**room I'm looking like a zombie I'm waiting for the bell to ring I've got john wayne stances I've got erroll flynn advances And it doesn't mean a doggone thing