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Raised to be a lady By the golden rule; Alice was the spawn Of a public school With a double-barrel'd name In the back of her brain; And a simple case of "Mummy doesn't love me blues." Reality it seemed Was just a dream; She couldn't get it on With the boys on the scene; But what do you expect From a chick who's just sixteen; But hey, hey, hey (hey, hey, hey) You know what I mean All of the young girls love Alice "Tender young Alice," they say; Come over and see me Come over and please me Alice, it's my turn today All of the young girls love Alice "Tender young Alice," they say; If I give you my number Will you promise to call me? Wait 'till my husband's away Poor little darlin' With a chip out of her heart; It's like actin' in a movie When you've got the wrong part; And getting your kicks In another girl's bed; And it was only last Tuesday They found you in the subway dead And who could you call your friends down in Soho? One or two middle aged dykes in the A-Go-Go But what do you expect, from a sixteen year old yo-yo; And hey, hey, hey (hey, hey, hey) Oh, don't you know? All of the young girls love Alice "Tender young Alice," they say; Come over and see me Come over and please me Alice, it's my turn today All of the young girls love Alice "Tender young Alice," they say; If I give you my number Will you promise to call me? Wait 'till my husband's away