El-P - Looking In... lyrics

[Mr. Lif] Goddamn Pops, that's cold-blooded Can't believe you left me and moms alone I'm goin through struggles in life I could use your guidance right now n***a but you gone I'm your son, a part of you, your flesh and blood, marrow and bone How the f** could you leave me alone? f** the finances, teach me how to shave or how to behave When some white n***as try to treat me like a slave It's civilized lessons that I lack You doubted you could keep me intact With the proper information so I wouldn't be strapped, but I am now Environment is ran down, I no longer stand proud Dreams are in the damn clouds And I'm here on the ground, with the fo'-pound About to kick this n***a's do' down and bust fo' rounds End up in jail, oh sh** this is real 'Bout to slip, put down my gun and run Back into my mother's arms, though I lack a father's charms I realize I gotta stay alive and stand strong God help me, I'm not educated or wealthy n***as outside is stealthy, and wanna melt me Oh dear sweet Jesus, 'bout to fall to pieces From my eye a tear releases, caught up in the creases In my face for the years of slavery I wish to erase And all the commonalities I wish to displace Baby mommy baby daddy, it's addin to the d**h tally Of the black family, if I find my wife I'mma marry And carry out what they tried so hard to disrupt And construct intelligent black minds Workin with these hands of mine, my hours of labor Will prove me to be a savior And when I lie your little heads down at night I envision through divine sight that your future is bright As we rise above the plight, please don't be like your Grandpa Stand tall, and it's pain like this that makes a grown man crawl So I walk south 12 blocks and seen this kid playin catch with his pops I couldn't help but watch, stopped Copped a squat on a bench, though my face was drenched Wiped the sweat off of my grill and chilled Just notice as they build, so focused as they will One another to a great day; I had to leave right away I couldn't keep watchin somethin that I'll never have Cause all I wanted was my dad {*echoes*}