El-P - Career Finders lyrics

[Intro: Samples] "What you gonna say?" - Sample from [?] "Hello" - Sample from [?] "What you gonna say?" - Sample from [?] "Hey” - Sample from [?] "What you gonna say?" - Sample from [?] "Hey" - Sample from [?] "What you gonna say?" - Sample from [?] "Hey" - Sample from [?] [Interlude 1: Greg and T] Greg: Hello. Career Finders. Greg speaking. May I help you? T: Oh, I'm T-Nut. I'm T-Dog, T-Nut Penitentiary Greg: Okay T: T-Dog Nut, k**er T Greg: What are your special areas of interest? [Verse 1: Mr. Lif, (Akrobatik), and {Mighty Dollar}] (Yo, I pump crack). You fill cracks? (Nah, I pump 'em) Whoa, I think you got too personal or something So, you're living an alternative lifestyle (Nah, n***a, I sell crack in little vials) Hmm, I think I got the perfect job for you: Go home and raise your kids and stay the f** out the booth (Ayyo, f** you). Next! Why you looking all vexed? What's your sk**? (Everyday, I blast n***as with TECs) Can you use an AK? (Hell yeah!). Is that a fact? Ak, pull up the plane and get this kid to Iraq State your name. {Mighty Dollar}. (*Laughing*). {What's so funny?} Nothing. {Son, I'm known to get money} Yeah, it says right here you rhyme excessively about Cash as if everyday's a f**ing spending spree Maybe consider accounting or banking Or maybe it's time to stop doing the glam thing It's played out. Oh my God, he hasn't noticed yet Leave the mic alone and pa** the rhyming to the vets. Next f** that. Matter fact, close the office These lost, black zombie n***as making me nauseous [Hook: Akrobatik] (x2) (Career Finders) Leave that life of rap behind ya We got something to suit you finer. We're (Career Finders) Put them pipe dreams on the shelf And let us put you on the right path to wealth [Verse 2: Shock G as Humpty Hump] (Hello. Career Finders). Yeah, I'm looking for a position Special talent: I'm really good at dissing I'll thug it out too on a peniten' mission Kindness and discipline is all that I'm missing (But I...) I want to get paid. I got these flows The record that I made, it'll help me get laid Okay, let's see Mr. Disser Mr. 9 Millimeter, punk-fixer You're interested in being richer Without no work. I'll put you down as a wisher Wait, did I mention I can roll weed in a swisher? Hmm, I'll put you down as a wisher (Dreams) So, this is what we got You're good at pointing out who's a b**h and who's not You ain't scared, down to shoot up the spot Have you thought about the military or a cop? You'd make a good bank robber. You'd like to be The star-sh**, man? Well, what about a hitman? Got to give it to you: when it comes to hard You the hardest. We're just not sure if you're an artist [Hook: Akrobatik] (x2) (Career Finders) Leave that life of rap behind ya We got something to suit you finer. We're (Career Finders) Put them pipe dreams on the shelf And let us put you on the right path to wealth [Verse 3: Akrobatik] Uh, yo Instead of making records, having everybody nervous Maybe we could get you something with the Secret Service Many applicants frown when they first heard this But what's being an artist got to do with doing murders? You want to bust guns? Here's some fly sh** A war's going on—be a front line private Yeah, you could be a hero in Iraq Or be the cat that stop the next plane from being hijacked (Damn) But you want to party hard Instead of being a rapper, maybe you could be a bodyguard Or maybe work a detail at Mardi Gras A chaperone at the naughty bar where the hotties are You a typical applicant. With everything You say you do, it make me wonder why you want to rap and sh** I'ma put your résumé back in the cabinet Find another path—Career Finders ain't having it [Hook: Akrobatik] (x2) (Career Finders) Leave that life of rap behind ya We got something to suit you finer. We're (Career Finders) Put them pipe dreams on the shelf And let us put you on the right path to wealth [Outro: Greg and T] Greg: What are your special areas of interest? T: n***a I pimp them hoes. What? Greg: Okay T: n***a. Shh... I'm a real n***a, though. You know why? ‘Cause n***as don't know. I'm real n***a, n***a, n***a. (*Laughing*). Shiat